The Young's: July 2008

Sunday, July 27, 2008

A Note from Jason

I want to thank all of you who have wished us well, prayed for us, given time, thoughts, etc on behalf of my mom and my family. While this has been a tough trial I can honestly say that the past two days have easily been two of the best of my entire life. Granted they were not the happiest, but in terms of quality they rival my marriage, the birth of my children and other special events. We were blessed with such a rare opportunity with Mom. Each of us had a chance to make peace with my mother, mend fences, express love and receive love from her. Not everyone is blessed with minutes let alone months to do this. At times it was excruciating over the past few months to watch as attempt after attempt to fight the cancer failed. By odds alone she should have never developed cancer in her lungs. But it seems that this was just one of many clues we received along the way that this was her time. The illness and the timing was no accident. For example Mom was not a smoker and she didn't live in heavy pollution; Until 1 month before she got sick the family was scattered across the world as far as China but we all came home just before she got sick; In the end she was able to hang on long enough for her estranged sibilings to travel across the country in time to say goodbye. There are so many other miracles involved, probably more than I even realize.

Friday we knew that the time was close because she was in the hospital and it was fairly certain that she would not be returning home. My whole family including spouses rallied around her all day expressing our love and supporting her. We also rallied around Dad who needs our support too. By the end of the day we had all received closure and peace around her passing. We assumed that it could come at any time. The next day nobody felt that they were in a particular hurry to see her because the previous day had been so amazing. Dad spent most of the day with her and by now her ability to speak was completely gone. But something happened in the evening. In some way she reached out to each of her children, some directly, others through their husband or wife. She invited us to her hospital room. So each of the children stopped by at the same time, independant of each other for a quick 20 minute goodbye. When we all found ourselves together at the same time we knew that this was it. It was a long and emotional process that lasted through the night as we supported Mom and each other through an ordeal that none of us had experienced so personally before. Her hands were never empty. Someone was constantly by her side. Together we battled pain, fatigue, impatience and every challenge that came in the night. We sang when we knew the words and hummed when we didn't hymns and songs from our childhood. We read verse after verse of scriptures. In the end, her spirit left her body, literally, as the sun rose over the hills on Sunday morning. If there is such a thing, it was a beautiful, tender, and dignified death. We couldn't help but cheer for her when she had finished. She was amazing.

I think that Mom realized quite a while ago that she wouldn't be able to heal herself. More than once she confided in me that she didn't want to die. But the truth is that we all die. Bodies wear out and betray us. We had many conversations about this. So instead she chose to heal others instead. Being in her presence inspired calm, peace and reassurance. But I realize now that this was not something that came with the illness. She has always been like that. As I talk to people and read notes we have been sent I realize that Mom has been doing that all along. Those of you who knew her would agree that she was a great physican, philosopher, friend and teacher.

After this experience I have no doubt of an afterlife. You would have an easier time convincing me that the ocean isn't made of water than you would that my Mom's spirit is not alive and as well as ever right this moment. My evidence is too personal to share but to me it is too convincing to deny.

Again thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Please pray especially for my Dad and my brother Tyler. We are all doing very well and this has really been an occasion of grief but also of fantastic discoveries for us. To correct the previous post, the funeral services will be held on Thursday July 31, at 10 AM (not 9 AM). The services will be held at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on Harrison Blvd. in Corvallis, OR.

Free At Last

Here's some text from an e-mail Jason had written to an old family friend:

My mom passed away this morning at 5:45. She had been diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer in February and we enjoyed 5 wonderful months with her. She went very peacefully and, we think, in little if any pain. She was surrounded by her children which is exactly what she wanted. She was ready to go in every way.

We will be holding funeral services for her. The tentative date is Thursday July, 31 at 9AM in Corvallis, OR. One of Mom's missions in life was the health and welfare of my brother Tyler. She asked that people make memorial donations to an organization called Camp Attitude in her honor. This is a very special camp for people with disabilities and it has been immensely valuable for Tyler. Their contact information may be found on this web site: http://www.campattitude.com.

Although we are all saddened by our loss we can help but celebrate her life and feel great relief that she is at peace. My family is doing very well.

For those of you that know the Young's, you know how strong each of them are individually. Collectively they are a powerhouse. Although they morn the loss of their wife, mother, grandmother and friend, they know exactly where Bev is and that she is so happy. As the title states, she is free at last.

May we all live our lives, as Bev did, in a way that will allow us to return to live with our Father in Heaven and all our family who are awaiting our return!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008